Where am “I?”

14686243_10209647603014344_2015524512_nFor thousands of years beings have been inquiring as to the true nature of who and what they are.  To fundamentally bring into question every idea you have had about yourself and be willing to toss it aside.  Yet,this “method” of calling into question everything we have previously considered to be what we are and discarding it has been so effective through out history that the mind has discovered tricks and techniques of its own to avoid being caught by the fire of inner discovery.  We are able to bring into question everything.  We are able to recognize that anything that can be perceived cannot be what “I” am.   Yet, what is often missed is that the very one who is letting everything go itself must go.  You the spiritual seeker, you the spiritual practitioner must go.

When everything is let go.  When our history, our memories, our name, our belief systems, everything that forms the collective bubble that we have labeled “me” is put down,where is your “I” then?  For even after everything is let go, there still remains some sense of separation, there still remains some sense of identity.  It is in these moments that a shift in the inquiry can be useful.  From “who am I?” to “where am I?”   Where is my sense of identity still located after everything has gone?  Where is my “I” hiding?

So many practitioner have engaged in practices to help release their sense of identity to no avail.  To no avail because the ego mind is still managing to hide.  The sense of individual I, the identity of a spiritual seeker is still somehow kept alive.  The truth of the matter is that these pointings were not meant to take life times.  These pointings were not meant only to be discovered by the “select few” but are representing a truth that is present right here, right now whether you directly realize it for yourself or not.   Fundamentally speaking, every time you finish a meditation practice and leave the meditation hall still carrying your sense of individual “I” your meditation has failed.

You may feel more at peace.  You may feel calm, less stressed but ultimately speaking if these states are what you are hoping to achieve then you may also have gone to a spa or took a nice long walk by the beach.   We are constantly missing our chance by settling for sensations of peace and tranquility during meditation instead of getting to the root of who is the one experiencing these states.

So many live out their lives as professional spiritual practitioners and are satisfied with just that.  If you say you want true freedom, settle for nothing less than that.  Otherwise you are simply letting your mind cheat you out of That which is your birthright.

~Agnisattva~

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