That “I” which is trying to understand and experience Truth is what?

“You are what you are seeking.  You are the ultimate reality.  The ultimate reality is none other than you.”  Yet, when we hear these teachings, the most common response that arises within the being is; “I do not feel it.  I understand what is being said but that is not my experience.”  Or, another common response will be; “I will like to believe what is being said, so what can I do to make that so?”  Yet, what needs to be examined is the “I” that says: “it is not my experience” the “I” which says “I want to make it so” is what?

Who or what is the one which says; “it is not my experience”?  Who or what is that “I” which says “I would like to experience oneness with all” ?  When we begin to examine in this way we will come to discover that this “I,”  this sense of wanting to experience Truth, of wanting to understand such statements like “You are That”  is just a thought, and as a thought it has no more credibility or weight than any other thought.  You are the ultimate reality.  Not the thought you have of yourself, not the idea you carry of yourself, but you before any and all thoughts concepts and ideas even arise, in that purity you are already what you seek.  

Questioner 1:  What the f**k?!, so what is stopping me or why can’t this [be] my everyday experience. Why is it that I live in two different worlds.  I want to experience both, now.

Agnisattva:  Before the thought “I want to experience both now” arose, what is present? The entire search, the entire spiritual game can only arise in your presence. Yet, this “I” that wants to experience Truth can never do so, for this “I” is merely a thought.  Before this thought arose, what were you?

Questioner 1:  Yes, what is behind the “I” the watcher, so must I always be quiet to just be?

Agnisattva:  Quiet has nothing to do with being.  You are the witness of both quiet and noise.  Yet, when too much attention is placed on the changing thoughts and the world we feel like we must change something.  Instead, we must become aware of that witness which is what we always are.  Sky is not affected or bothered by storm or any clouds.

Questioner 1:  Yes, thank you for now.

Questioner 2:  Yes, I am aware of everything including the ‘I’ thought, but how do I recognize that I am that which is unchanging and aware of everything?

Agnisattva:  That which is aware of the “I” thought is already aware of all.  But the question itself is an impossibility.  For that which wants to be aware of every thing is recognized from that place which already is.  The practice is to un-relentlessly push aside any and all sensation, thoughts, or idea until that which is of the nature of perfect awareness shines of its own accord.

Questioner 2:  Thanks, but I can’t really push thoughts away or stop them from coming, is there another way to be empty of thoughts?

Agnisattva:  Thoughts are not the problem, nor is being empty of thoughts something to truly strive for. It is to place one’s attention not on the thoughts but on that which is aware of the thoughts. For this one can use any number of formal meditation techniques, but even there, “You” are aware of even meditation. To keep one’s attention on the witness and not on that which is witnessed is the way I recommend.

Questioner 2:  Attention can only go towards an object right, so you mean ‘resting’ it in being?

Agnisattva:  Yes, it can be said that way.  To allow the attention to rest where it never left.

Questioner 2:  Ok. Thank you so much.  

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